I have to admit that I'm not entirely certain that I understand what "being the board" means. In September of 2008 I was rear ended by a drunk driver. Ironically, I was the designated driver for a bachelorette party. I did cast blame. It made me very angry that this woman got behind the wheel when she was intoxicated. I had made sure that I was sober, why couldn't she? The impact of her car caused me to have back problems. I had to go through physical therapy and was in constant pain for nearly a year. It still bothers me.
Sometimes, I agree, it does not do any good to cast blame. It is upsetting to me when I chastise a student for an inappropriate behavior and instead of taking responsibility, they try to cast blame onto another student. "Well, Suzie was doing it, too!" I'm not sure what they are trying to do in this situation. Do they think that by telling on Suzie, I will forget that they did something wrong? Is this supposed to excuse their behavior? Or, is it that they feel that by getting someone else into trouble, they won't feel so alone in their crime?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Kelly,
ReplyDeleteI think what Zander means when he says we’re “being the board” is that we not only play the game but we turn ourselves into the surface on which the game is played. I took that to mean that we personally and internalize everything that happens in life. I think it’s human nature to cast blame. It is the first line of defense.
I hate when a student blames someone else for their actions. But thinking about it, can we really blame them for casting blame. I know I’ve done the same thing in my life. It happens all the time whether I would like to admit it or not. I think we have to consciously think about not casting blame, because it is a gut instinct. We are trying to protect ourselves. I think kids especially think that they won’t get in as much trouble if they can bring someone else into it as well. It’s a way to justify their actions. They are trying to save themselves from getting into trouble. It is all self-preservation. I think that if teachers demonstrate how to take responsibility for their actions, such as admitting when you make a mistake, students will also pick up on doing so. Those are my thoughts anyway.
Alicia
I feel that students don't know how to take responsibility because our society is all about blaming someone else. They see it every day on TV, with their parents, teachers, and so on. The examples that people make for young children is where the problem begins. Children learn what they live and they live in a world where the blame always lies with someone else.
ReplyDeleteAs teachers we have to create that environment and be the role model.
I'm a firm believer in full-on anger and not holding back when one is upset. We need to vent and cry when we need to cry. Then what? I've known too many people who don't let themselves express their feelings and eventually they become disconnected from their own lives. On the opposite spectrum are those who can't let go of previous upset and hurt. I think a famous Jewish philosopher said something about there being a time and place for everything. Your upset about the drunk driver is understandable. The physical results are still with you. Now what? How long will you keep that emotional page open?
ReplyDelete